Hopefully, improved. I have to hide my identity for now, for fear of retribution from disappointed readers from my previous blog. By disappointed readers, I mean really close family members and friends.

I guess I should start by introducing myself. I love to write, I do. I don’t know if writing loves me back but I love it. Do I have something to say? Ah, that my friends is left to be seen. I’m also bipolar. One day I’m a funny writer (funny by my standards) and the next, I’m just idiotic and weird and serious.

Today, I’m going to talk about my husband for a little bit and then I’ll talk about the most essential thing of all in life: faith. Don’t worry, I’m not going to be all holier than thou because I am, after all, a self-proclaimed atheist. At least that’s what I hope to be.

My husband is still sleeping. It is 11 in the morning and he is still sleeping. I’m not complaining though. I just sold my netbook and now we have to share a desktop until a get a new one. (In order to get a new one, I would have to save up or get a job to speed up the saving process.) For three days in a row, he’s been obsessing about his new processor and has been bombarding the hard drive with his games. Currently, he has his time wrapped up in this Prototype game. Knowing my husband, he will not rest until he’s beaten the game. Thankfully, he had one of his minor asthma attacks earlier today, at around 5 A.M. Thankfully. Oh yes, the bliss. I have the PC all to myself.

Okay, now let’s talk about faith. Most of you have probably heard about The Secret and The Law of Attraction. This law is bomb. I mean I can’t think of a breezier, lazier way into life. Kidding. I’ve seen TV shows building their comedy around vision boards and attraction, that’s definitely a telltale sign that the belief has made it to the mainstream. I was brought up a Catholic. I don’t know if I should curse the fact that I was raised one (Catholic) or be grateful for it. Curse, because now I find it an absolute pain to get out of negativity. Grateful, because I love being part of an age-old tradition as hearing mass on Sundays, even if the sermons are pretty darn backward and negative.

So this is how the predicament goes. Every time I try to envision myself as a wealthy, successful person, I think of Job. Every Catholic knows that Job was a good person and yet “God” took away everything he had for no reason than—I don’t  know—show Job who’s the man? That pisses me off because I can’t think of having wealth and not have the fear of losing it. It doesn’t help that I had a Protestant for a best friend during my pubescent years either.

Protestants are die hard bible readers. In just one year of going to my best friend’s church, I learned so much more about the bible and Christianity than a lifetime of exposure to Catholicism ever did.  I’m talking about going to Catholic schools and praying the rosary (reluctantly) every night with the family—after all, the family that prays together stays together. (FYI: i have a stepmom, a stepdad ang half-siblings). I’m talking about reciting my 6 o’clock Angelus and knowing my kneeling schedules and responses by heart during mass. Yet, I swear, Protestantism is the way to go if you want to learn the bible in a year, or in less than a year even.

My bestfriend would tell me, “God is a jealous god. If he sees you loving your loved ones or loving your possessions more than Him, He will take those things away from.” I would nod in agreement. I was such a wuss and I probably still am only I don’t have to go to school now so I can pretty much hide that fact in my little cocoon of a home with my husband, my little dog and my colorful PC.

So here’s the thing, I want to switch beliefs.  I want to switch to The Secret but there are these pesky, nagging voices of doubt. Then comes EFT. Has anyone of you ever heard of EFT? It probably is hocus-pocus but crazy as this may sound it was when I was doing EFT that I got my husband. He popped out of nowhere. So whether EFT is all psychological bull or not, I don’t give a sh**. As long as it is working, then there is no way in hell I would let anyone tell me otherwise. So I am using EFT to drown thoughts of self-doubt.

It’s EFT for me these days. If you have a better idea on how I can resolve this new age vs old school beliefs, I’m open to suggestions. May tumblr not disappoint.